“Hello, everyone! I am Sally, your interstellar museum tour guide! Please step to the left for PerfectVerse, and to the right for UnPerfectVerse!” She took a huge step to the left, and smiled wildly. “Follow me.” Sally looked around at the people who wanted to learn more about PerfectVerse. “Y’all chose the right planet,” she whispered.
“This world is called PerfectVerse and it is in the Goldilocks Zone of the Andromeda galaxy.” The monotone audio started playing in the exhibit. “The plants there are all pastel colors: light pink and lavender, and they taste like sugar! Water is delicious here because whatever beverage you are thinking of, the water becomes.”
A little girl in the back got really excited. “Daddy, is it real?!” she whispered a little too loudly.
Sally smiled and put her finger to her lips. “Shhh,” she said, as nicely as you possibly could. Then she winked, hoping the girl didn’t care too much.
“Also, you would be able to breathe anywhere, even underwater! The oxygen here is perfectly breathable. PerfectVerse has 1 moon which is its complete opposite.” Sally’s face morphed from super happy, to worried and sad.
“On UnPerfectVerse, everything is dark and gloomy. It is very uninhabitable and you can’t breathe anywhere without an oxygen mask.”
Sally has heard this audio thousands of times before, but the part about UnPerfectVerse always brought up sad memories and emotions that she always tried to push down and hide. It was so hard to not think about her lost family.
“The animals on PerfectVerse are almost exactly like here on Earth. Except for one thing: they are much nicer! Scratching and biting literally don’t exist.”
“At least the ending is funny,” she thought to herself. This made her laugh. Then her smile disappeared. Who laughs at their own jokes? Inside their head? “I’m so weird.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “Here on PerfectVerse, politics are no longer silly! Everyone gets along, so no need to fight! This planet is ruled by a few elected leaders. EVERYONE gets along here!” The audio started again.
This made her think of her brother. Sally remembered Sam, like just yesterday was THAT day.
“School is only one hour every day, but you can absorb information really fast. You can never get sick, feel pain, or die here, so no more YOLO. YOLF! (you only live forever)!”
“Sam would’ve loved this” she whispered. “If only…”
“Poverty? Doesn’t exist. Not everyone makes the same amount of money, but if you slip into poverty it’s much easier to get out. On PerfectVerse there is a watch that can project holograms, so you can actually see the person when you call! Finally! Tech never glitches and it repairs itself. PerfectVerse is a very fun and different planet to live on. I hope you come to visit!”
“All right people! Buy your tickets right there!” Sally pointed down the path. Once everyone was moving in the right direction, she ran back to the office. Finally! Another long day was finished. Sally snatched a $50 bill and stuffed it in her pocket. She really did deserve it.
Later, Sally got on the interstellar “bus” to PerfectVerse. Surprisingly, it was only 34 minutes away, yet many light years. How lucky she was to be born in 2156, and not some year long ago, like 2023. All this technology? She was so grateful. Since she had 30 more minutes, she grabbed out her diary and flipped to a new page. She knew it was baby-ish and soooo 2010s, but she couldn’t help it. She loved to write.
I need to get this out of my mind! Please.
That day, I was so scared. So was Sam, but at least he was a little more brave than me. Back then, it was 2166. I was 10 and Sam was 14. We used to live on UnPerfectVerse because Dad was a scientist learning about the environment. One day, I woke up, alone. This was very unusual. Mostly because our family was really close and Mom always woke me up. I ran around the house until I found Sam.
“Sally?” He said, “I can’t find Mom or Dad.”
Panic rushed through my veins.
“They’re… missing?” I screeched.
I cried my eyes out for what seemed like days until Sam went outside to find them.
“I’ll be right back,” He claimed “Stay right here.”
Unless “Right back” means 11 years, I don’t think he’s coming. I’m still so sad. Sam was my best friend.
2 Years Later
I finally made enough money from my stupid job to finish college! Yay!
“Although there are many challenges in life, we must learn to face our fears. Thank you! PerfectVerse really is the perfect place to live! Take a tour today!”
The last part of the speech was forced by my boss… I’m planning to quit tomorrow.
But actually, come to PerfectVerse, it truly is perfect.